What an awesome day of revelation!!! There are themes that keep coming up, and a really big breakthrough began today. YES!!! Let's begin with a little backstory...
My whole life I have been terrified of people looking at me. I've shied away from it, fled from it.
All of my life. It's just felt wrong.
But at the same time, I have a bachelor's degree in music, in vocal
performance. I am a dancer who thoroughly enjoys creating and
performing. There's something I enjoy about being on display, being looked at and enjoyed. And a lot of times it works spontaneously in social settings- I entertain, tell funny stories, or just come with commanding presence and people pay attention to me. But always,
always, I've been ashamed of it, scared of it. It's just felt right to feel ashamed about it. It's felt sinful. Like it's a part of me that needs to be removed.
But you know what? That's not true. Performance is a part of me. Celebration is in my spirit! It's how He made me.
Therefore, there is now no condemnation
for those who are in Christ Jesus,
because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit who gives life
has set you free from the law of sin and death
Romans 8:1-2
Pastor Sue was talking this morning about authority, and about how light has authority over darkness. When you turn on a light in a dark room, the darkness is gone. The light asserts itself in authority, without question.
This afternoon Resa came over and brought some
Lance Wallnau DVDs about stepping into your destiny. Destiny is a hot topic for me lately: Jesus & I are diving into it this year, head first. I took away a real kernel in the first DVD, and that was his four drivers, or four priorities: certainty, variety, significance, and connection. He claims that everyone has a primary and a secondary driver. As soon as he started talking about variety (or uncertainty), I knew that was one of mine- I
must have variety, otherwise I'm bored. My other driver? Significance. That's
huge for me! What is significance? Achieving significant things,
being on display. These people are typically having fun. They are partyers. You see them and recognize them. It was so clear because the other options are opposites (certainty and connection). How awesome! It was so very clear, although I'm not yet sure which driver is primary and which is secondary.
In the second DVD we watched, he talked about the DISC personality types. Again, there are four: dominant, influencing, steady, conscientious. After listening to him, going through some internal debate, and chatting with my fellow watchers, we agreed that I am mostly an influencer. Influencers are the kinds of people who are famous, party, have fun, and
enjoy being on display.
So I'm a performer and an entertainer, both in training and in practice (and for that matter, both formally & socially). Significance is one of my drivers. I am mostly an influencer type. See the themes? And honestly, a longing to be noticed has been on my heart lately in a way that's gotten harder and harder to ignore. It's awesome when God hits me with this many themes in one day! It's so much easier to get.
So at the end of this beautiful day, this is where I am: I have a light I've been trying to fix, trying to hide. But it won't go out. It's still there. It really likes to shine since that's what it's meant to do.
This is the end of hiding. Only darkness hides. Light shines forth for all to see.
"No one lights a lamp and hides it in a clay jar or puts it under a bed.
Instead, they put it on a stand, so that those who come in can see the light."
Jesus, Luke 8:16
“You are the light of the world. A town built on a hill cannot be hidden.
Neither do people light a lamp and put it under a bowl.
Instead they put it on its stand, and it gives light to everyone in the house.
In the same way, let your light shine before others,
that they may see your good deeds and glorify your Father in heaven."
Jesus, Matthew 5:14-16
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